Firstly, I owe you guys a BIG apology for waiting this long in between posts to write! It has been a serious whirlwind of ups & downs the last few months and they just keep coming. That’s life though! I promise to make time to write as much as I usually do.

Let’s play a little catch up, shall we? The 1st big thing that happened was that my mom FINALLY moved out! UUUUGH. It wouldn’t have been bad at all had she at least attempted to change. I was really hopeful and excited to take her in after her legal issues & promises to discontinue drinking. It lasted a whole 2 weeks during her 6 month stay with me, and then apparently my company & support just didn’t cut it. She was back to her old ways of spending money she doesn’t have going out with friends & drinking too much. When I use the term alcoholic, I am aware that there are many different levels of alcoholism.  In my opinion, if you need to use a substance to make life bearable or if said substance changes who you are…you have a problem.  She’s been functioning, holding down good jobs etc her entire life. I think that she will not deal with her emotions & doesn’t really know who she is…until this is done, she won’t change. I finally had enough, I got to the point where it was really affecting my emotional well-being. I told her unless she stopped (as was the original deal) she had to leave asap. So she left… I still speak with her but unfortunately we will still not have that mother/daughter relationship most people are fortunate to have.

Moving on! Traveling a LOT! I have been all over the place working & shooting. This is something that is obviously not slowing down anytime soon as I prepare to leave again next week! Not that I mind it, I just mind being away from my home, my Baby boy mostly.

Recovering finally

Those of you that follow my tweets know that my little old man has been a bit ill as of late. He is almost 14 but for the mix-breed (poodle/bischon) he is, their life expectancy is way higher than most other doggies. (don’t start emailing me to prepare for the worst either, he will live to be 110!) Anyway, I took him in for his yearly comprehensive exam and the vet totally freaked me out when she was going over his blood test results, telling me that his liver & kidney enzymes were very high & that meant disease & ultimately passing away within 3-6 months. He also gets a lot of little bumps on him, mostly sebatious glands (like zits for dogs) but there was one that alarmed the vet & myself, it appeared suddenly & out of no where quintupled in size within a few weeks. It looks different than all of the other things he’s ever had. She said it was definitely cancerous & he needed emergency surgery.  She also said that at his age & the sudden decline in his energy levels this year, anesthesia was most likely going to speed up the liver & kidney diseases. So Saturday, he had his surgery, however, I insisted on a local & mild sedation-NO anesthetic at all! He is such a chill guy that even if he’s in pain, he will just lay there. She did more in depth liver/kidney testing to make sure the disease was not progressive or aggressive, and it was NOT! YAY! Great news! She apparently was telling me what could happen…I was like bitch!!!!! Lol. She removed the cancer Saturday and it was encapsulated which is good news, we don’t know if its in other areas of the body, but now that its out & removed we will have an idea of how to treat him. PRAYING that its benign & that he can go back to being his happy go lucky food begging self. The recovery has been very slow. Way different than any other time he’s had a procedure.  I stayed up all night with him while he was sick, I had to force feed him water as he would not drink on his own. I had to take him outside & massage his tummy because he would not go potty. Every time I stood him up, he would collapse. (God, crying while I write this, I am a wreck!) This am he wasn’t seeming much better however he did get out of his bed on his own but it wasn’t until late afternoon that he drank on his own & nibbled two pieces of scrambled eggs I made him. After the water he went outside to relieve himself & even barked! Wheeeeew, so I know he is headed on the right path & will recover hopefully very soon.  Thank you all for your kind words on twitter & positive thoughts….we need them! I will keep you all posted on his recovery :o)

Now the last annoying thing I’ve been dealing with that has been keeping me away from here lol. You all know I have hashimotos disease and have had a slew of retarded ass backwards doctors??? Well I believe I have FINALLY found a good one! The only problem is I have to start over from square one, meaning I had to stop all medications I was on (which has a lot of stupid side effects) along with deal with the hashimotos symptoms for a few months in order to retest & let the new Dr see where my hormone levels are. (Hashimotos is an auto-immune disease that effects your thyroid, your thyroid controls the hormone distribution for your entire body, meaning if its off even a little you will feel fucked up! For me its extreme exhaustion-where its hard to get up but you cannot sleep at all, mood swings, depression, bad vertigo & nausea, headaches, hands tingling, skin break outs, etc…not anything fun). The past doctors I have had WAY over medicated me causing MORE issues including heart palpitations, anxiety & fainting spells….DUMB FUCKS! I have also been diagnosed with fibroids due to the hormone fluctuations from Hashimotos….which are very common in woman but most often leads to surgical removal.  I have to say that from dealing with all of this bullshit & never getting a doctor that knew what the fuck they were talking about, I kind of put taking care of me on pause. Perhaps denial, I don’t know but now seeing my little Baby going through it & my not stopping at any & all cost to ensure his health, I decided I better get my shit together in this area of my life too. After all, I want to be here for the next few years at least to continue playing with all of YOU! lol….so I am happy to report that I am getting there. I have made ALL kinds of appts with various doctors & specialists in different fields, so over the next several months, I will be making sure I am taking the right steps in getting back to 100%. Well getting there period, I don’t think I have felt 100% my entire adult life. BUT you wouldn’t know it at all because I am a BADASS BITCH! LOOOOL! I refuse to let any of this get me down or impair my accomplishments.

So guys, now that we are almost all caught up, I hope you have been enjoying my latest sexy content & I will be making my presence felt here more often… Hope you have all been well & thank you all for your well wishes & happy thoughts. They are appreciated.

I will end this on a good note :O)

See you in this weekends live show! xxoo
Brianna Jordan